Christmas Is

by Zoltan James

CUE: Deep-voiced announcer at the microphone:

Christmas is brought to you again this year by our loyal sponsors:

Our Heavenly Father, Mary and Joseph, a cast of dazed shepherds

Choirs of angels, gift-bearing Magi, and Herod the King.

And, ladies and gentlemen let’s not forget

Mathew and Luke, Guttenberg, Clement Moore

Jews and Romans and Saints and old Santa Claus.

Be sure to shop at Macy’s, Sears, Hallmark and Home Depot

Have a Coke, watch Charley Brown and his scraggly tree

And, remember Christmas comes from you and me.

Ain’t Christmas just a remarkable old event?

Why it’s high and mighty, mystical and magical

Why, some would say it’s heaven sent.

Go ahead celebrate The Birth born of ancient rituals

Pope Constantine’s calendar and reports from the desert

Staring unknown characters in a Bethlehem cave.

Let the memories be revised by artists and musicians

Brought to you by melodies of snowmen

Red-nosed reindeer, and Alvin the Chipmunk.

We sing to Burl and Andy, the Carpenters too

To Rock and Pop, Liturgical and all that Jazz

And give a nod to Jose’s Feliz Navidad.

Go ahead give goodwill to all men, but

Ignore the Muslims and atheists let ‘em scoff

Funny how they’re grateful to get the day off.

Pray for peace. Let’s bring our boys home.

It’s home for Christmas to those who are lucky

Where the lovelife gleams and only in our dreams.

Or it’s just another winter’s day in the soup line

For bums of their choosing, or good folk with misfortune

Or for the fella’s who are a wee bit off their plumb.

What for God that could be you or me

What do they know or care – hey, it’s lonely out there

Are you snug by your fire and filled with desire?

Are you rockin’ around the Christmas tree this year?

In your winter wonderland with your Christmas of white?

Or is this your blue, blue, Christmas?

Thank God Christmas is our light in the dark of winter

We need a little cheer for kids from one to ninety-two

Come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant, we need you.

Give thanks to God, we’re safe and warm

While in Bethlehem it’s fearful and cold

The streets are decorated with guns and tanks.

The inns are empty. Come on down.

There are no long lines at the store or post office.

Silent Night. Oh, Holy Night – It ain’t.

Yes, it’s Christmas here and this is what it is

Once again we hope against all hope

For the new, for the light, and no returns.

We herald this time unlike any other

Cling to the Holy Mother, give all you can, while you can

Be a mensch for mankind, and praise the babe in swaddling.

Please do your part, keep Christmas in your heart

Make the church bells ring and the cash registers ka-ching

Let the economy sing, Hallelujah!

Thank you. This uplifting message was brought to you by

The good folks at Budweiser helping to make your holidays bright

And, by Lucky Strike, the gift of pleasure.

And, now sit back and relax as we return to our regular programming

Featuring The Miracle on 34th Street starring Maureen O’Hara,

As the “mom”; John Payne as Kris Kringle, and Natalie Wood as “the little girl.”

CUE: The Movie


Keep your Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings

Give me an old-fashioned salutation with real meanings

Just make it merry.  Just make it bright.

Make mine Merry Christmas, with snow and light

Make it Merry, Holy and White

Say it like you mean it, it’s still all right.

# # #

Make Every Hour Your Happy Hour



Filed under Uncategorized

3 responses to “Christmas Is

  1. Shirley Sue Flory

    I enjoyed it Jim. You’re amazing.

  2. Much HOLLIDAY CHEER TO YOU, and to your puppy dogs too !!!

  3. Bob Scott

    Voices from Christmas past. I was 4 or 5. We were poor, very poor. When the garbage collectors came by my dad yelled out the window…”Leave Two”. Christmas eve. My dad would go out in the backyard and fire a shotgun. I’d run to the wi ndow and asked “what happened, Dad”?” Santa Claus shot himself and can’t make it this year.”

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