1. I’ve decided to outsource cognition. I’m just plain tired of thinking for myself.
A word to the wise. In the event you’re considering doing the same, I suggest you avoid outsourcing your thinking to China, unless of course you’re fluent in Chinese. Otherwise, you’ll end up frustrated and flummoxed, like me. Initially, I had a Chinese thinker and spokesman. He did all my thinking for me and even responded to family, friends, clients, door-to-door salesmen, etc. I didn’t have to do a thing. Not even think one thought. It was bliss. Only problem is every time he spoke it sounded like a kitchen drawer of utensils had fallen to the floor, and that brought on an avalanche of complaints. Especially from Uncle Carmine. Oh boy. Not what I had bargained for. Secondly, I couldn’t make heads or tails of his reports which were written in Chinese symbols. I’m now looking into India. I think. I don’t know. Maybe Canada.
2. I’m more and more worried about continental drift. It’s the kind of issue that can inch up on you.
3. I recently attended the Aspen Ideas Festival and was bowled over when I met the Mother of Invention. She was the keynote speaker and full of wondrous ideas for this and that. And, if I do say so myself, I found her to be “hot.” Also, I noticed that her shoes were patent pending. Anyway, I asked her what she was working on these days and she said mostly she was enjoying being a stay-at-home-mom nurturing the development of her two children, Problems and Solutions. “One thing I’ve noticed,” she said to me, “is that innovation doesn’t take place in a vacuum. Dust does.”
4. Last week I had lunch with my old high school geometry teacher and his daughter. When we sat down in the rooftop restaurant, with the 360-degree view of the city, he sat at an obtuse angle from me. His beautiful daughter sat at an acute angle. The more he and I talked, the more we realized how’d we lived parallel lives.
5. A month ago, my wife and I adopted an attitude. It was a positive experience. Minimal paperwork and very little background checks involved. Now, she’s thinking she’d like to adopt an explicit attitude.
6. Just got home from attending a silent auction for charity. It was most unnerving. I couldn’t hear a damn thing.
Be well. Remember confession is good for whatever ails you. And, if that doesn’t work, I recommend tequila on the rocks.
Make every hour your happy hour!