You must admit, that our planet Earth, as we know it, is a pretty darn cool and complex place. Not to mention the many-layered lives we lead and the silly things we do in this life we call our human comedy. I have lots of questions about all this, from the real to the surreal, and often wish I could sit down over a bottle of scotch with God and ask away.
Last Friday night, after I tossed down a couple of belts, I got up the courage to ask. I Googled God and found his email (he’s a cool dude and hip, I might add). Yes, he has email. It’s God.God@gmail.com in case you want to reach him. I sent him an email and while I didn’t have the courage to ask some of life’s toughest questions (like who really shot JFK?), I thought I would start with something on the lighter side, and then work up to the more sophisticated. I started by asking him what his favorite pop hit songs were and why.
Lo and behold, he answered. (I should add that as a matter of courtesy, I asked if he preferred to be referred to in the masculine or the feminine). His response was and I quote: “I don’t go for that PC stuff. If you want to call me, Him, that’s fine. If you want to call me, Her, that’s fine, too. Just nothing in Vain, okay?”
I typed an answer back immediately, “Well, yes, Sir, I mean, okay. Thank you, Sir.” I felt like an idiot and thought to myself, “Oh Lord!”
He wrote back, “LOL. I heard that.”
I wrote back, “Okay, then, sir, God, uh, what are your favorite pop hit songs of all time? And, why?”
I held my breath and waited.
He wrote back, “Breathe… Relax…Have another drink…I’m thinking.”
“Oh, crap,” I thought to myself.
“I heard that, too,” he wrote back. “It’s okay. You’re cool. I made you just like me. Remember?”
“Uh, yeah,” I wrote back to Him. Sorry.”
“Never say you’re sorry,” He said. “Now, give me a minute.”
Several minutes went by and he finally responded. “Okay. Here you go.” And his list, with his reasoning, read like this:
10. “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones. This title is so true. I mean so, true. You can’t believe all the requests I get. But the matter of the fact is, you just can’t always get what you want. You need to keep asking until I believe you really want it. Got it? Feel free to pass this little tip along.
9. “Dancing in the Street” by Martha and the Vandellas. It’s just a feel good song and every time I hear it, I want to dance and dance and dance. And, don’t forget. I invented dance. And, yes, for the record, I’m light on my feet. You should see Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly really go after this when it comes on. They lead the Saints down the gold paved streets of Heaven. And, the footwork. OMG!
8. “That’ll Be The Day” by the Crickets. Ah, I love this song. Reminds me of The Creation.
7. “The Winner Takes It All” by ABBA. I dig everything by ABBA, which, of course, means, Father, you know. But, I’m a winner. You’re a winner. We’re all winners. Ain’t no room for losers in my world. This song just makes me go, ‘YEAH BABY!’
6. “What’d I Say” by Ray Charles. Now, this song, here, should send everyone scurrying to their bibles. Know what I mean? Heh. Heh.
5. “She Loves You” by the Beatles. I like this one. It’s a feel good song. But, I also threw this in the mix for those who think I’m feminine, and to remind you that no matter what, I love you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
4. “Every Breath You Take” by The Police. I dig the rhyme in this song, like “Every breath you take, every step you take, every cake you bake, I’ll be watching you.” And, that’s key, baby. I’ll be watching you. Heh. Heh. Relax. I’m just playing with you.
3. “Imagine” by John Lennon. I gave you all imagination and so few of you use it. Imagine what could be and do it. It ain’t rocket science.
2. “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys. This says it all.
1. “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. Despite it all, this remains a wonderful world. Hey! I made it. I like it. Use it. Don’t abuse it. Enjoy it.
While I was soaking this in and marveling at the list, and the insights, another email came in. PING!
He wrote, “BTW, I got one more for your list. It’s ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ by Brenda Lee. Bet you never saw that one coming, huh? Anyway, this has to go on the list because who doesn’t like Brenda Lee, rock ‘n roll, and Christmas?”
Then he signed off, “Gotta run dude. I’m monitoring the Mideast Peace Talks on Fox, CNN, and Al Jazerra. Be Good. Be God. I’ll be watching you. LOL! Just kidding. Relax.”
Hear “God Only Knows” here:
Make every hour your happy hour — God