Confessions of an Ordinary Guy

by Zoltan James —

As a writer, I’ve learned that it is critical to be in touch with our true selves.  To be honest about who we are, what we like and love, or hate, or aspire for our world to be.  Therefore, after extensive soul-searching, I’ve decided, for better, or worse, to confess to the world, the real me – at least the top ten things about me that no one else knows.  So, without further ado, I confess who I really am:

1. I like to pee in the shower (with the water running).

2. I enjoy listening to the Beatles backwards.  Not the record, but with my back to the speakers.  (As an aside, it’s my belief that Paul still lives).

3. Peanut butter uber alles.

4. I can eat breakfast for every meal.

5. Wishing it was me, instead of John Travolta starring with Olivia Newton-John in Grease.

6. To conserve on gas, I like taking short trips in the car, with all the windows down, in the garage.

7. I hate back-breaking gardening, but love the end result.  Hoe, hoe, hoe.

8. Please don’t tell Nielsen this, but I always turn the sound off when commercials come on.

9. I can type faster than I can write long-hand.  I think it’s a gene-thing.

10. I practice Mongolian throat singing in the shower.  It makes me pee.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Confessions of an Ordinary Guy

  1. ZJ

    Note from the author: The items on this list are not necessarily “true” to who I am. Due to a confidentiality agreement with my inner self, I cannot divulge the fiction from the nonfiction. This post is simply an expression of serious silliness, an experiment in mischief, if you will. These items have not been approved by the FTC, FDA, or Major League Baseball.

  2. Shirley Sue Flory

    Love it…keep them coming. We both type faster than we write….thank Jr. High Vice Principal typing teacher…..he started it all.

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