By Zoltan James June 2, 2010
It’s a universal truth that you cannot play a sad song on a ukulele
That is unless you inadvertently jake-snap a string and
Are left to your own nimble fingers and creative devices
To pluck bravely onward those three
Remaining chords of gut, which, ironically would take
A modicum of guts on your part especially should this sad event
Ever occur in Carnegie Hall with you on stage while the
Audience gasps, gasps, gasps in high suspense
While you pick, lick, and pluck away refusing to fret
Ignoring the loss like the fish that got away.
You just keep going.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot play a sad song on a ukulele
Not with its happy-go-twangy-strums that bleat
Plinkety-plankety-plunk drawing from
Rich histories of oh-so-happy Hawaiian melodies
Sweet and crisp vi-vi-vi-berating from its mahogany
Figure-eight shell barely the length of a short umbrella
While conjuring up the friendly ghost of Arthur Godfrey
Or the lush new sounds of Victoria Vox. Yes, forget Tiny Tim.
No, you cannot play a sad song on a ukulele
Unless, of course, that’s all you know, but then
You only know the half of it don’t you cause then
All you can do is politely tap your finger on your knee
Or sit on your hands with a sourpuss expression
While the rest of the world dances and laughs as if
There’s no tomorrow, no sorrow, and lottsa love to go
‘Round with a happy plinkety-plankety-plunk, plunk, plunk.
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